1. |
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I pause for a moment of blinding light
So far away from the lonely charcoal and white
And with the notice of the warmth breathing on my skin
I’m terrified by the fact that I still feel nothing in this
A step backwards and a counting down from five
I daydream of all the ones who got to feel alive
This isn’t restlessness, it’s fucking full psychosis
Competition for my skin, the living dead encloses
I still feel the metal burn
I still feel the gears, in anger, turn
There’s no progression, colliding only with wall
I stay sedated as the gangrene pens it
Cut me up, I promise you won’t find anything
Mistrust me enough, the gorgeous view of horizon from the window sill
Fuck me up, I never wanna have to feel anything
Just this once, can I find the strength to give up
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2. |
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Waking from a dream my teeth fell out every night
It’s overwhelming disgust, a festering sense of pride
I set the hammer down and step away from the light
In steady breaths I just remind myself that I’ve built a life
It’s not enough to wake up on the days full of eyes
I’m self conscious and scared, a lurid wave of goodbyes
Waking from a dream my teeth fell out every night
Sitting up, alone and scared to find that I was finally right
I need so badly to impress you
Am I doing it right?
I need so badly to impress you
Am I doing it right?
The waters poisoned but we're still dying of thirst
The food is rotten but there’s no where else to look
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3. |
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The deconstruction of a mindset starting in last
The resonation of an apathetic stain on the glass
I’m full cycle with the siren stench, beckoning bones
A boring sentence, like the classic “can you be left alone”
There’s nothing famous with the backhanded flattering jab
A simple sentiment, the definition of the far to the back
Only a nights sleep, invaded by the tearing skin
It’s funny what we make ourselves find comfort in
This is vagrancy, fucking complacency
I wish that I was better than you thought I could be
I’m masquerade masks, button downs and practical jokes
I think it’s funny I’m the last one going home
I won’t see the sun come up, I won’t let myself fucking get that far
It isn’t anyone’s fault but my own,
I make a living crawling under fucking lowered bars
I know the words I just haven’t got them down yet
A single stepping stone before the final paycheck
I’m fucking dying, I’m expected to perform as such
Indifferent fingers make the pilgrimage to peel the rust
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4. |
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I spend my time
Wondering if I’ve seen you
Spend my time
Wondering if I’ve wrote you
Spend my time
Wondering if I called you
Spend my time wondering if I’ve known you
In the past twenty seconds
The past twenty minutes
The past twenty days
The past twenty years
And I don’t think of you
I don’t think of you
I don’t think of you
I don’t think of you
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5. |
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I’m so scared of you
You and your fashionable friends just weren’t invented to lose and
I don’t know what to do
I’ve got a penchant for existing underneath your shoe
I’m so scared of you
I wanna find the fucking ego that is being you
I don’t know what to do
A fucking mockery of lives, disgusting privilege abuse
You say you’re just doing your job
Your line of work’s the fucking guillotine
And there’s no way to know
How this nightmare is gonna go
Fuck every cop I’ve ever known
And every one I’ll ever know
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6. |
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This is a hemorrhage
I break my own bones in compliance
I was so close to it
The creeping sense of desperation for ruin
I feel the itch beneath my skin begin to grow
I want to scratch away the layers beneath my clothes
I want forgiveness in the simplest of ways
I love you so much, I’m fucking trying
There is no communion
I fight my insides with painful poison
A list full of accidents
Refuse the right to untie and remember circulation
You’re so amazing with the words your lips and eyes say
Afraid of the light in a boring writers way
I want the ending in the simplest of ways
I love you so much, am I doing this right
I need to be
Immobile and asleep
All sorts of colorful things
Macrame apologies
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7. |
Comfortable Clothes
02:03
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Comfortable clothes
By the window in the upstairs bedroom
Unconventional medicine
I smile as I look right through you
I think of the lost time
The minutes not coming back to me
Comfortable clothes
Trepidation sees the rhythm before me
My wrists aren’t in the ice bucket just yet
But they’ll find their way there soon
I pass my time trying to get high
And building walls to force you to break through
I’ve gotta find a place to fit in my skin
Among the falling hair and the yellow teeth
These comfortable clothes
Just aren’t as presentable as they used to be
I’m hemorrhaging, disbelief
Sinking eyes, dulling teeth
Forced communion, sweet goodbyes
Sink your teeth in, drain me dry
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8. |
Untitled Track
02:55
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You drained me dry
And I gave you all I had to spare
And now I'm running on fumes and dust and debris
And the eyes skywriting the air
So let me nose dive here
Let the worms make holes in my tongue
It's blasphemous, a tool of treason
And cut up and dry as it ever was
And my words are those of bibles
Let me tell you all the ways I've dreamed
I'm the personification of an empty room
The lesser known in between
And when I'm not trying to hard
I'm draining my insides to fill up raging seas
A more comfortable way to die with less apologies
My skin is stapled to the ceiling
My brain is falling through the floor
An incandescence new and fleeting
Tattooed in lines forevermore
I don’t get high to cope I get high as a sedative
I’ll stay alive for a while but the lines are so repetitive
So watch me squirm, watch me die
Watch me get eaten a-fucking-live
It’s no better than the songs I sang
As decades sprinted by
Watch me implode, so starry-eyed
I played my part and bled my pride
It’s only when the night gets hungry
That I keep myself in side
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i love you, i love you Huntington, West Virginia
linktr.ee/ilyily666
☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭
electronic screamo from huntington, west virginia
☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭
dane
max
brad
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